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1st poem in my blog

~ tak kusangka ~
original created by : Septia

tak kukenal dirimu saat itu
sombong , bgitulah pandangan pertamaku
tapi kau buktikan kesalahan pikiranku
kau mau mengenalku
kau mau menjadikanku temanmu
kau temani hariku dengan pesanmu
kesepian tak lagi menyelimutiku

namun tak kusangka
dan tak dapat kuduga
pertemanan sekian lama
tak kusadari berubah menjadi cinta

senang hatiku saat menerima pesanmu
debar jantungku saat mendengar suaramu
kau slalu memberi perhatian yang menenangkanku
beragam motivasi yang kudapat dari pikiran dewasamu

sempat ku menuntut arti semua ini
aku tak ingin menjalin hubungan dulu , jawabmu
kucoba mengerti dan sabar menunggu

tapi...

sosok lain datang ke dalam hidupmu
sedikit demi sedikit sirna harapanku
kurasakan berkurangnya rasa pedulimu terhadapku
aku menyukainya , kau mengaku
detak jantungku pun membisu
tak dapat kubendung air mataku
apakah kau tau rasanya ?

tak lama kusadari
ya , aku bukan apa-apa dibanding wanita itu
aku tak ada artinya
aku tak berharga
tapi kau berkata lain
kau lebih dari dia , ucapmu
entah apakah ucapan itu palsu
namun kau yakinkanku
tapi mengapa tak kau raih hatiku ?
mengapa tak kau balas cintaku ?
dapatkah kau lihat hatiku yang retak ?

kini kau ingin menjauh
karena kau tak ingin menyakitiku
mengapa tak kau kabulkan inginnya hatiku ?
bukankah kau berkata aku lebih baik ?

entah apa yang harus aku lakukan
kurasa dengan menjauhiku hanya dapat membunuhku perlahan
namun aku tak dapat berbuat banyak
mungkin aku sudah cukup mengganggu hidupmu
dan mungkin akan hanya menghambat hubungan kalian
ini bukan kesalahanmu ataupun dirinya
ini salahku
salahku yang terlalu berharap
salahku yang terlalu cinta
dan salahku yang tak mau melupakanmu
mungkin ini hukuman atas kesalahanku
untuk menjalani hari tanpamu
menikmati luka dalam hatiku
dan merasakan kesepian lagi dalam hidupku
tak kusangka...

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